actually, I'm a sock model
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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