he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
