ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
