I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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