I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
