the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
