Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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