is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
