I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
