UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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