All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thank you for not boning my boss.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
