I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
