I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
