i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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