those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
