I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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