yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
