He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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