Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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