You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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