HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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