I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
