Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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