Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
