My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
