Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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