I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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