Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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