My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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