Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
