Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
