I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I need a beard to bite.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
