who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
