I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
