I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
