hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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