We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
