I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
