I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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