He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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