oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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