Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
