so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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