I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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