So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
