if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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