There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I look better un-naked...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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