i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
