we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
