so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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