Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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