And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
