My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
