Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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