Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
